smiles and scars


It has been a strange emotional week. One full of grouchy self talk and “what’s the point” type discussions running through my head over and over and over again. There have been cuss words spinning around dancing and pounding their feet against my mind and the triplets -jealousy, anger and frustration, have been throwing a party at the base of my thoughts. I think they had a keg and I even heard the blender mixing up margos.

Last night, as I sat on my mat to teach the 4th (it would have been my 6th, but the universe has a way of realizing when you might be a wee bit overwhelmed) yoga class of the week, I heard what was spilling out of my mouth.

The words I had been saying to my students all week hit me in a way that for a second,
I was able to not just be a yoga teacher, but a yoga student in my own class.

I had been talking about samskara. If you break down the word to help remember its meaning you can hear the word “scar”. When we think of scars we think of a rut or a mark, like the crescent moon shaped scar you can see on my forehead in this photo for instance. Samskara is something that we take with us from an experience.

The thing about samskara is, like anything else in life, can you see the scar in a positive way or a negative way.
The choice is up to you on how to live in the situation that reminds you an awful lot of a moment that wasn’t really all that positive for you in the past. To be able to look at the scar and either get stuck in the skipping record playing in your mind, or to look at the scar and realize that you have survived- to be able to pick up the arm of the record player and remove it from the skip, and continue it on its journey.

The scar on my forehead is from an experience that could have killed me, at age three I was in a bicycle accident and fractured my skull.
I have that scar on my forehead to remind me that even if I am knocked down by a situation that I have survived before and can survive again, no matter how bad it might feel right now.

Just because that scar on my forehead is there doesn’t mean that I have to live in the scar. (most of the time I forget it is there) I don’t have to live in the scars of other situations either- and I can’t expect people to live in my samskara any more than I would want to live in theirs.

All things heal and can become quite beautiful once you take the time to accept them-
I love the way that scar looks like a moon- the very same kind of moon that was in the sky on the night I was born.

Have a beautiful and peaceful weekend my friends.

PS last night I got a beautiful pendant from this very talented lady. Thank you Thea, I love my new necklace and I am wearing it right now.

3 Comments smiles and scars

  1. Kathleen October 20, 2007 at 2:31 am

    you, too, have a beautiful weekend, sister.
    you are beautiful and wonderfully talented. so glad you put your mark in our world.


  2. angela October 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    i love when i stop by hear and there are your words.
    hope this weekend is peaceful and everything you need 🙂

  3. Stacie October 22, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    nessie, this post came at a great time for me. I am struggling with an issue in my personal life that is a scar, and your post makes me realize that it is time to give the record player a little nudge, and hop over it, for gosh sakes! thanks!


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